May 2004 Archives

Jimmy Buffett was flying his private jet over the Carribean after a few margarita's when he lost control and crashed into a coral reef. Death was instant and he soon found himself at the gates of Heaven face to face with St. Peter. Worried that his life as a musician may bar his way into heaven, he asks St. Peter, "Can I go in?"

"Go in!?" Exclaims St. Peter. "People loved you Jimmy and would come from all around just to see you. Not only can you go in, but we have a special place just for you."

The gates of Heaven open and Jimmy follows St. Peter in. Heaven is the most beautiful place that Jimmy has ever seen, everything is so clean and perfect, and everyone that he sees seems to be having a great time. After walking for a while St. Peter leads him out to this beautiful private beach.

"Here you go Jim, this is all yours." Jimmy is floored, as he's only seen beaches like this in his dreams. The sand is white and feels like silk between his toes and the water is the most perfect sapphire blue for as far as his eyes could see.

Jimmy was admiring what was newly his when he looks up and sees a humoungous mountain back in the distance. On one entire side of the mountain is the biggest mansion that he has ever seen. The architecture is brilliant and intricate, and there are tie-died flags and dancing bears all over the building.

After all that he's been given, Jimmy is jealous. "St. Peter," he says, "Tell me why Jerry Garcia gets a place so much better than mine."

"That's not Jerry's house," St. Peter laughs. "That's God's."

It seems that the most sought after technological item at my workplace these days is the good ol' flat panel LCD display. Before that, it was the optical mouse. Everyone needs to have one of each of these, beacause there's a legend that these gadgets will make your computer run better and increase your productivity ten-fold. I'm no so convinced, myself.

We started buying LCD displays here a few years back. We found that with some of the office furniture, a regular computer monitor just took up too much space. So at close to $500 a pop, we solved that by buying 15" LCD monitors. That's when it started.

The people who we didn't buy them for didn't seem to understand why we didn't get one for them. I heard constant "why do they get one and not me" and "where's my flat screen?". Like little children the envy and jealousy was blatent. I'd get calls each day from people trying to justify me giving them a new monitor. Some of the excuses were great, "I run a lot of reports and I hear that they run better on a flat screen" along with people distorting their screens so it's unreadable and then calling and telling me their monitor is broke so they need a flat screen. It got to the point where it was really, really annoying. The more someone nagged me for one, the less I wanted to actually buy them one.

Throughout the past few years I've been slowly buying LCD monitors to replace our older CRT based monitors, but there are still a few people who don't have one. I still get calls, although they're fewer and further between.

The other day I recieved an e-mail from someone who needed one badly. "I do a lot of work in Excel and it has been recommended to me that a flat screen will help Excel run, would it be possible to get me one ASAP?" The e-mail read. A request like this wasn't uncommon, like I said, these screens are magic... I'm sure I don't even know what their full potential is.

So anyway, I actually have a few of these monitors that I've kept undeployed and I was feeling nice so I was going to run up and make this person's Excel run better. Then I remember... isn't this person already using an LCD screen? I pull up my inventory -- sure enough. She's had one for more than a year.

My first thought was that someone else decided to help themselves and switch the assigned hardware. It happens, and it pisses me off. There was one point where I've gave the same person four optical mice in a week. Why? Because every morning when she came in the mouse I'd given her the day before was switched with someone else's mouse. As you can imagine, this pissed me off. Ultimately, I'm responsible to know where all my hardware is.

So I make a telephone call, "Hey, this is Mickey. I got your e-mail about a flat screen monitor. Um, I'm a bit confused -- don't you already have one?" I hear some feet shuffle around and then a voice on the phone, "You know Mickey," I could hear the embarrassment in their voice, "I guess I do already have a flat screen. I always assumed I had a regular monitor and I never thought to look over the top and see if there was anything else there."

Now the real problem: If they already have a flat screen, how am I going to make Excel run better on their computer?

I'd like to thank everyone who participated in helping me caption the image in the previous entry. In case the previous entry as already moved off the main page, or you're viewing this entry individually, you can view the entry here.

Not only did everyone come up with some pretty good captions, but I busted a gut laughing at the creativity some of you have.

Check back for more!

I'd also like to clear something up. In my recent entry called "What's a Dream" I mentioned that I didn't like Dave Matthews. I think this came across wrong. I don't hate Dave, I just don't find his music as appealing as many other musicians. I wont turn the channel if a song of his comes on, but I also wont get ecstatic and go crazy when there's a Dave show in a 400 mile radius from where I live. I don't even know if I'd pay money to see him if he came to my town.

But I do have to say, his music is much better than a lot of the other mainstream garbage that comes out these days, and he gains my respect because Trey Anastasio has played and toured with him.

Now, have a happy Friday!

The picture below is my buddy Dan after the last set that Strangefolk played at the Garden of Eden in 2003. I've had the image file sitting on my desktop for the longest time with intentions of posting it on here, and today finally I have.

But I need your help. I have no clue how to caption it. So please, leave your comments below and help me caption this image.

You know it really pisses me off when someone pulls their car out into your lane attempting to cross traffic and forcing you to stop and wait. Then, they'll smile and wave.

Like you were doing it out of the goodness of your own heart.

Boy did I have some weird dreams last night.

The first one that I remember was kinda spooky, because I remember having a dream similar before. So anyway, I was at a festival somewhere, listening to some band. The music and location I don't think ever even came up, but I was in that kind of surrounding. I start off at my campsite with a group of the people I thought were my friends. Then I go somewhere and when I come back, my tent and sleeping bag and everything that was in it is just GONE.

The worst part of it all is the fact that none of my friends seem to have a clue. Like it just vanished in front of 20 people. I spend the rest of the dream, which felt like eternity searching for my stuff. I'm really troubled in the dream, I can feel myself on the edge of crying. I search and I search and I search.. then.. I find it in someone's office. Don't ask me how I got to an office but when I got there it was all set up (minus the stakes that should have been in the ground) in the middle of the office. Perfect as could be. That was the last part of that dream I remember.

The second dream was a bit different. I don't know how long after the first dream this one took place, but it was definitely the last dream I had while I were asleep, as I remember waking up during the dream.

I was in a tall building, it must have been really tall because I knew there were lots and lots of floors. I remember starting in the lobby of this building and knowing there was something after me. So I was running. Down hallways and corridors, into rooms of this amazingly huge skyscraper. I didn't know what was after me but I knew it was close and I couldn't stop.

So here I am running through this building, and jumping on elevators and going up, down and every which way. Direction meant nothing to me, as my only objective was to get away. The rooms varied. There were boiler-type rooms, offices, storage rooms, hallways and places that looked like hospital wards. There were people around too, but they didn't seem to care, or see me. They went along their day-to-day business while I pushed them aside and brushed by them.

Then I came to this one room. I felt like I was near the top as I had being going for a long long time. I go into this room and I see a curtain. I feel that I should go to the other side of it. Maybe it would be safe? I lift the curtain only to see that I'm on the side of a medium size stage. Dave Matthews is playing solo in the middle of the stage. He's singing.

Now here's the odd part, folks: I don't like Dave Matthews.

I didn't see if there were people there, but the atmosphere definitely felt like there was. It didn't seem to me that he was just up on the stage strumming for himself. So anyway, Dave, he sees me out on his stage, stops his singing and goes, "Hey you! Can you put down that curtain?"

I had apparantly been holding the curtain up while watching Dave. I took his question as threatening and I put the curtain down and went out the way I came in. At this point I didn't feel as "followed" as before. I remember that my wanderings through this huge building felt as if they were leading me down. I still felt I had to keep moving, that there was something, or someone coming, but I didn't feel as pressured. As it had lessened, or was further away. It was some point in these wanderings that I woke up this morning.

So, there they are. A bit messed up huh? It's funny, because I remember them both so clearly. I'm no dream analyst and although I do feel that dreams do have meanings, I'd be as skeptical as I am to horiscopes to many interpretations. I know exactly what I'd tell someone if they asked me to analyze the same dreams. But I feel it's much more complicated than that.