July 2004 Archives

Seen in the back window of a Geo Prism being towed by a motor home:

Please be patient, can't you see I'm pushing this huge house on wheels?

The voicemail on my friends phone said, "Leave a brief message."

So I said, "Fruit of the Looms."

I've been slacking lately on writing, but just to keep stuff coming...

One sunny day in 2005 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U. S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush."

The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here."

The old man said, "Okay" and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush."

The Marine again told the man, "Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here."

The man thanked him and, again, walked away.

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U. S. Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush."

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to
>speak to Mr. Bush. I've told you already that Mr. Bush is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don't you understand?"

The old man looked at the Marine and said,

"Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it."

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you tomorrow, sir."

The other day a woman I work with asked me, "Mickey, are you growing your hair long?"

I kind of cocked my head, looked at her and replied, "Nah, I had a Chia Pet tattooed on my scalp and I've been watering it every day."